Gibberings
Dad told me never to use XTREE when he wasn’t in the room.
August 29, 2008 ~ 09:37:04 AM * -07:00ST
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Log # 293
FirstnameLastname MySpace account now active.
I realized I needed an easy-to-find, publicly-accessible account that hosted a bunch of art and links to various works.
by
Eliza Gauger on January 15th, 2008 ~ 06:00:14 PM
Slotted into The Internet |
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Log # 292
“that vomiting bat would be a much better mascot”
I have been interviewed for io9.com, a new Gawker sci-fi blog for which I designed the mascot. In this interview–which was conducted entirely on a cellular phone, typing on an IM program, while I stood in a laundromat–I bitch and piss and moan about the state of modern science fiction, I throw some props to my “influences”, and then a bunch of Gawker commentors ruin everything because “boobs. check. likes sci fi. check. plays games. check. where do i apply for marriage?”
Yeah well. I have news for you. I got my breasts replaced with gigantic, fat, wiry-haired testicles. This is why I can draw. Girls can’t draw. They can only take self-portraits, and make little cartoons of cupcakes and smiling kittens and pretty goth ladies, using a dip pen and menstrual blood.
Not me, though. I paint manly. I paint like James Earl Jones with a handlebar moustache.
For posterity, I would like to record the journey that wee Miss Io9 took before finally being slapped up on the site. It all started in a coffee shop on Telegraph avenue…
This is the original sketch page I whipped up after getting the initial commission:
Here’s what we want: a stark, photorealistic face of a mutant child who can see the future, probably with the aid of cybernetic implants in his/her brain. Think of Alia from Dune
(http://data-allocine.blogomaniac.fr/mdata/2/4/2/Z20040203205313330324242/img/dune_film_alia.jpg), sort of smiling in a creepy, I-know-the-future way, but crossed with the cute/icky aesthetic of a Mark Ryden
(http://markryden.com/paintings/index.html) or Trevor Brown (http://www.pileup.com/babyart/_top.htm). The child would be sort of sexless and robotic, with a swollen head — the result of cybernetic enhancements or surgical upgrades, some of which might be sticking out of its head.
Here’s what I sent in after first cleanup. It was specified in the first description that the kid be smiling, and I cleaned up the details of the implants and backpacks. I sure do like backpacks. The one on the far left–now known as Xartreuse–is the strongest design. Right off the bat, this disqualifies him from being chosen for the final. Why? Because that’s the golden rule of commercial illustration. Clients will always, absolutely and with no exception (except when there’s an exception), pick the weakest design in a group of thumbnails. The corollary to the golden rule of commercial illustration is that you never ever submit any design that you can’t handle taking to its final state. Even the worse of the bunch has to be at least okay, or you’re going to hate yourself throughout the entire project.
Predictably, the io9 crew eliminated Kid 1 on the first pass. This is no fault of theirs. They are intelligent people with style and taste. It is simply The Law.
Following a request to make the kids “spookier”, these were turned in. The righthand design (now known as “Xerulean”) is the weakest in the group, and true to form, it’s the one that the io9 folks like best. At this point I made a heartfelt, very polite recommendation that the lefthand design be favored. Since Annalee is as smart as she is kind, she managed to convince her overlords at Gawker that this was the right choice, and I was saved.
Here’s the first color test. I usually lay down a green or blue or purple as a base when I’m going to be creating a flesh tone. I like my characters to have a hint of the undead about them. This design is still a lot goofier, meaner, and uglier than the final splat.
Closing in on the final design, here. Major changes were made following a request for increased “prettiness”. Gawker was iffy on these antenna, earphones, and the shape of the squinted eye. They also didn’t dig the blood on the implants.
And here’s the final design, as it appears on io9.com. One headphone removed, all trace of antenna gone, and the airbrushing effects, never my strong point, have been gone over several times for extra shine and surreality. The forehead jewel has been turned into a HAL-style camera lens. And so, it was done. And I sawed my face loose from the Wacom, severing the leathery ropes of sputum that had formed over my long days of Photoshop. And then I shot myself.
by
Eliza Gauger on January 14th, 2008 ~ 06:05:15 PM
Slotted into Artwork, Digital, Future, The Internet |
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Log # 210
This “Etsy” Allows You to Buy Things. From Me.
I am in the process of adding prints and originals for sale to a new Etsy store, even though every $0.20 they rip from my adorable little claws is like a fork in the kidney. I may live in the Oort Cloud, but I can still feel the pain of e-commerce.
So after I ride my bike down to the Inner Solar System today to mail Noah his goddamned prints finally, I will be adding more STUFF. Here are the pieces that are currently uploaded:
Prints are 8.5×11 unless otherwise noted, and are printed on heavy matte archival paper. They’re cheap right now too, so have at it. I will raise the prices eventually. EVENTUALLY!
by
Eliza Gauger on October 18th, 2007 ~ 01:58:16 PM
Slotted into Artwork, Digital, Games, Paintings, Photography, Pinups, Sketches, The Bee Commission, The Internet, Unhallowed Metropolis, Zombies |
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Log # 168
Accounting for the Dead and Wounded
Currently toiling away in the following salt mines:
- Destructoid, a gaming news blog, has hired me and Florian Eckhardt/John Brownlee as a package deal, and we have already begun smearing our stilted nonsense all over their face. Many thanks to Gay Gamer and others for the warm welcomes. We really missed you.
- The two of us will be attending Tokyo Game Show in late September, also on behalf of the ‘Toid. Don’t worry, they’re sending real journalists, too. As far as Flor and I can tell, we’re being dragged along for the questionable purposes of consuming as much Hello Panda (me) and Kirin (Eckhardt) as possible, thus ensuring a sugar- and booze-fueled staccato diatribe to break up those yawn-inspiring “LIVEBLOGGING THE TOKYO GAME SHOW!!11″ posts that will stream down the gaming feeds during the conference. The working title of our adventures will be “Fear and Lost in Translation”.
- It’s good to be back in the gaming game, I gotta tell ya.
- I’m also attending the San Diego Comic Con this weekend, sort of. And sort of on behalf of Destructoid.
- Ectoplasmosis is full steam ahead, thank you very much.
- Unhallowed Metropolis Book One is complete, and will launch at GenCon Indy. I may or may not be there.
- Unhallowed Metropolis Books Two and Three are in the works, respectively. One will be entirely photographic, and I am under the impression that I’m in charge of the art direction. The other will be an expansion for the game itself, dealing primarily with the occult, and will have both photographic and drawn/painted illustrations. I’m contributing to this one as well, with art and writing. They’re due in a year or so.
- September will see an art show at Blow Salon in Berkeley, with paintings by me and a bunch of other people of whom I have yet to learn. More on this later, but I’ll probably be finally showing the Bee Commission in public, along with some new pieces.
- I moved out of the homeless shelter. I now live inside a hollowed-out asteroid, covered in rockets, that I have cleverly turned into a spacedinghy. It’s cold here, and all my stuff is still in boxes, but it’s rent controlled and I have yet to see a cockroach.
- I owe some people prints. I’m aware of this, I apologize, but shit has been BANANAS.
- I am vaguely and seriously considering getting some sort of part-time assistant or manager to handle all this bullshit. Basically I need a Deirdre, know what I mean?
- Overlord fucking blows.
- Earth Defense Force rules.
And that about covers it. Questions?
by
Eliza Gauger on July 24th, 2007 ~ 11:31:03 PM
Slotted into Destructoid, Ectoplasmosis, Games, Robots, The Internet, Unhallowed Metropolis, Writing |
1 Comment »
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Log # 163
Table of Malcontents RIP, Ectoplasmosis Forever!
Thanks to the inestimable Rob Beschizza for the music video.
After parting ways from Table of Malcontents, Florian (Brownlee) and I are striking out on our own. Prepare for more Cthursday, more Noise du Jour, more Nabokov, more rust, more stardust. We love you that much, at least.
Ecto will be similar to ToM in content and format, to begin with. From there, we will be experimenting, elaboration, congealing, and generally futzing.
Ecto is also on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ectomo
by
Eliza Gauger on July 2nd, 2007 ~ 04:37:56 PM
Slotted into Ectoplasmosis, Table of Malcontents, The Internet, Writing |
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Log # 162
QFT
<Qais> [4:32:19 AM] I’d fuck a bulldog puppy covered in margarine for science
by
Eliza Gauger on June 24th, 2007 ~ 04:34:08 AM
Slotted into The Internet |
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Log # 149
Dave vs. Goliath Update 2: Wassco Ahoy, Bambi Bye Bye
Some quick updates, since I’ve been busy and haven’t caught up with the SA thread in a few days:
1. Goldman’s “Goodbye Bambi” logo has been removed from his site, following a post by goons. There was much discussion on SA about the hair trigger of the Disney legal team, and the Disney “piracy hotline” was called. As reluctant as I am to reinforce Disney’s megalomaniacal grip on ancient intellectual property, I think the ends justify the means in this case.
2. The giant Todd Goldman evidence repository located at Mike Tyndall’s site is now being mirrored at ThirdProject.net.
3. What the fuck, can’t he even spell “weenie” right?
4. Stickypig has suggested to me that Goldman is pulling the biggest performance art stunt ever devised. It is, in fact, more difficult to trace five images to create a shitty cartoon, than it is to simply draw a new one. Does this say something profound about the “remix culture”, or is Goldman just a psychopath? Goon Mythrandir has a similar hypothesis:
It’s no secret that he’s an asshole, but I just realized that everything I’ve heard about this guy doing– from his art thievery down to his bullshit interview comments and asshole behavior when cornered– is complete douchebaggery. Which got me thinking; maybe he’s actually a brilliant artist, and his real “art” is that he’s become the ultimate despicable character and wants to see how the world reacts.
It’s the only logical explanation for how someone can be “the perfect asshole;” down to the most mundane detail of their lives. That takes effort, and a real asshole would need to have at least a couple redeeming (or at least neutral) qualities. I’ll bet he even has an “asshole” way of making sandwiches or starting his car or something.
5. Kelly states that he cannot discuss details of the case, and will not speak to the press at this time.
6. The Consumerist is on board.
7. Kelly also confirms that Chris Wass of Wassco (original artist from which a great deal of Goldman’s tracings have come) has been contacted about all this, and should not be sent any more email on the subject.
8. Goldman is now altering existing designs on his site, such as changing the face on this clipart fat kid, (original can be seen on the magnet, new face [taken from the Boys Are Stupid image] on the sticker) presumably to make them “different” enough to pass as original work in court.
9. The comment thread at Table of Malcontents is alive and simmering with rage, albeit with the absence of commentor “Totally Wrong”, lone defender of Goldman, who had his IP traced to davidandgoliath.com.
10. In the case of Rogers vs. Koons, (thanks, goon ruth232) we find hope for a reasonable outcome, should Dave vs. Goliath go to court: The Court found both “substantial similarity” and that there was access to the picture. The similarity was so close that the average lay person would recognize the copying. Thus the sculpture was found to be a copy of Rogers’ work.
11. On April 26, Kelly closes the thread and says there will be an update on the weekend or the following Monday (April 30). But…no update yet. We’re rooting for you, Shmorky.
This list has been added to the megapost, and crossposted to my LJ.
by
Eliza Gauger on May 3rd, 2007 ~ 11:21:19 AM
Slotted into Artwork, Comics, Depressing, Digital, Future, Hate, Paintings, Pirates, Table of Malcontents, The Internet, Wired |
1 Comment »
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Log # 148
Dave and Goliath: the Internet vs. Todd Goldman, Todd Goldman vs. Me
UPDATED APRIL 24TH, 9PM: See bottom of post. Evidence that Goldman’s probably puppeteering his own online “defenders”, and art distributors are starting to remove his work from their storefronts.
Todd Goldman, aka “Goliath”, maker of the eponymous “Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them” t-shirt, stands accused by artists and the internet of mass plagiarism. His lawyers sent Wired.com, where I am a blogger, a cease and desist in regards to an article I posted about certain allegations being made against him. That article has now been taken down, and replaced with an image of the C&D that I received. Here is a Google cache of the original post.
This was not my decision, it was the decision of the Wired higher-ups, who were advised to do so by their legal counsel. I have been firmly instructed not to post anything else regarding Goldman on Wired. The C&D does not address my website, LiveJournal, or any other venue.
This is the straight poop.
A few days ago I posted an article on the Wired blog I work for, Table of Malcontents. The post was on the subject of Mr. Goldmann’s run-in with internet-famous cartoonist, Dave Kelly aka “Shmorky”. Dave Kelly is the creator of the Purple Pussy webcomic and Something Awful’s excellent flash animation column, the Flash Tub.
On April 6th, 2007, Kelly posted in the Something Awful forums about the stunning similarity between one of Goldman’s recent paintings, and a Purple Pussy panel from 2001.
LEFT: Purple Pussy drawing from September 19th, 2001
RIGHT: Todd Goldman’s painting, circa 2007
Goldman made at least two paintings of the same design, which were essentially similar. I am under the impression he sold both of them, almost certainly for several thousand dollars apiece, as this is the going rate for his work. A few days after Kelly contacted him, Goldman’s publicist starting posting the following press release in forums and threads:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
POST POP-ARTIST, TODD GOLDMAN, CONTROVERSAL PAINTING
CLEARWATER, FL, April 11, 2007- Popular post pop-artist, Todd Goldman who has made a career of making fun of the world with his sarcastic commentary and cartoon icons, has mistakenly used the design of an another artist in two of his recent paintings. Todd’s painting, “Dear God, Please Make Everyone Die”, was inspired from a drawing he received unbeknownst to him belonging to an underground web comic artist David “Shmorky” Kelly.
In addition to painting, Todd designs t-shirts for his clothing company, David & Goliath. Todd and his design team create and receive thousands of design ideas every month. It’s no secret that Goldman creates a lot of his painting ideas from his t-shirt designs. Goldman says “I made a judgment error and didn’t research the background of this particular submission. “My intention was not to copy Mr. Kelly. I have never seen his work before and would never intentionally knock-off someone else’s idea.”
Goldman has issued a formal apology to Mr. Kelly and has stated that he will not be using his design again in the future. As a gesture of good faith, Goldman has pledged not profit from his mistake. He will instead donate his proceeds from the painting directly to Mr. Kelly or his charity of choice.
However, no money has been issued and Goldman is stalling, claiming that he “needs to find out how many paintings were sold.”Anyone contacting Goldman via his email, or through his official MySpace about the issue received the following reply:
Thanks for the inquiry! Here’s my inspiration! Every month I paint the works of a pedophile. This week, I chose the work of Dave Kelly, he’s a huge infantilist furry. This is someone who draws baby anthropomorphic animals either wetting themselves or jacking off. I’m not kidding. Once again, his name is Dave Kelly and this is his FTP full of his lovely art, there are even some photos of the artist himself, handsome fellow isn’t he?
http://seth.beepboopinternet.com/davekelly/
Next month, please look for my special pedophile/serial killer series when I recreate the works of Jeffrey Dahmer.
Once again thanks for your support and please help me with my cause by spreading the word and showing the world just how creative pedophiles can be.
Do it for the kids.
Todd
Here is a screencap of the MySpace message. Here is a paste of the email, with full headers.
The “pedophile” art in question was a forgotten archive of commissioned work that Kelly had created, to spec, for various clients, as freelance artists sometimes must do. The owner of seth.beepboopinternet.com has since posted an apology in the SA thread for (however unwittingly) giving Goldman any sort of ammunition, voiced his unflagging support of Kelly, and deleted the directory in question.
It is notable that Goldman sent this email, with links to pornography, to several minors. This is in violation of MySpace’s Terms of Service, and caused Goldman’s account to be deleted.
The “toddharrisgoldman” profile address was parked by a goon and filled with comparison shots between Goldman work and the original work of myriad artists. The goon lost control of the account, which was then presumably handed over to Goldman, and filled with obscene material.
Just afterwards, many MySpace profiles of those who spoke out against Goldman, or who were fans of Kelly, were phished, destroyed (all friends and formatting deleted), and some even replaced with an image stating “TODD WAS HERE”. This image was hosted on Goldman’s server, as shown by this screenshot. The image has since been deleted, but the MySpace accounts cannot be restored. Victims who contacted MySpace abuse were sent a useless boilerplate.
Yesterday I was able to talk to a source at MySpace who assured me that the profile hijacking bore all the hallmarks of hacking/phishing, and were almost certainly not an inside job. Furthermore, he described the main MySpace abuse address as a “bottomless pit” and advised all those with phishing grievances to make sure and select “Reporting Abuse” and then “Phishing/Fake Logins” as the nature of the complaint on this page.
Meanwhile, coder Mike Tyndall is busily constructing a massive archive of all images, information, and links relevant to the accusation that Goldman is stealing. While the Dear God painting is most similar to its supposed source material, there is a vast trove of other parallels drawn between Goldman’s work, and older material by other artists. These images and artists include Roman Dirge’s goth comic book character “Lenore”, Jim Bent’s “Happy Bunny” slogans, Liz Greenfield’s “Stuff Sucks” goldfish, Blank Generation Shirts, Threadless Shirts, Windows 3.1, American Apparel, School House Rock, a cartoonist named Kramer from Mitre Magazine, T-ShirtHumor.com, Busted Tees, and a dozen artists who’ve been lost in the seas of time and internet.
Tyndall was threatened with a C&D from the Goldman legal team on April 19th, and has altered the text of his page to remove anything that could be regarded as libelous. He continues to update.
But this, ladies and gentlemen, is the piece de resistance. As mentioned at the beginning of this post, Goldman’s magnum opus is the “Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them” logo seen on millions of babydoll t-shirts worn by 13-year-old girls. The Something Awful Goons have come through yet again, and decided to show us this image:
There are dozens of similar examples on Tyndall’s site, but this in particular is shocking. Many goons are viewing it as the masterstroke, although the Purple Pussy similarities are stronger.
Additionally, it appears that Goldman may be Goldman’s only defender. A recent comment on the Wired post reveals the IP address of the outspoken commentor known as “Totally Wrong”, who has been frequenting the comment thread there since just after it was posted, attacking the credibility of me, Kelly, commentors, and generally cheerleading Goldman. Totally Wrong has also posted comments using other aliases, going so far as to invoke the holocaust and Nazi Germany. If Godwin’s law were admissable in court, there’d be an airtight case against him.
Here’s the comment that reveals the IP:
Totally Wrong’s IP is 216.199.39.18.
This IP also posted comments under the following aliases:
- Totally Wrong Again
- Auntie Semite (”This link is funnier btw…”)
- goon number 2 (”Believe everything after…”)
- O.J. (”If the glove don’t fit…”)
- Shmorky (”I’m famous, dammit…”)
LINKS and REFERENCE
1. Purple Pussy [a webcomic by Dave Kelly]
— a. Dear God, Make Everyone Die, Amen This is the panel in question.
2. Holy cow, Todd (Goliath) Goldman ripped me off! [Something Awful forums]
This gigantic thread is updated constantly, and is the best source for super-current information.
3. Todd Goldman: Art Thief? [Mike Tyndall]
This is currently the most comprehensive archive of Dave vs. Goliath evidence and information, and is updated regularly.
4. David & Goliath: Shameless Art Thievery, Ahoy [Wired]
See Google’s cache of the original post here
This is my post at Table of Malcontents, now replaced by the C&D image. Has a thriving comment section full of stuff by a commentor called Totally Wrong that seems like it is from Goldman direct.
5. Kind of a Big Dealio [LiveJournal]
Roman Dirge addresses the Goldman issues and relates the specifics of the Lenore case.
UPDATES
APRIL 24TH, 9PM:
More evidence that Goldman is sockpuppeting his own defense:
“Totally Wrong’s IP is 216.199.39.18.”
That’s Tampa Bay, Florida.
Which by an astonishing coincidence is Todd’s locality. See
for his email headers, showing that his mailserver is at 216.199.185.166 (smtp.davidandgoliathtees.com
Note that all 216.199.x.y addresses are part of the same netblock belonging to FDN:
http://geotool.servehttp.com/whois/?query=216.199.39.18
BUSTED AGAIN ASSHOLE!!!!
As reported by goon Scaramouche, AnimationGallery.com, a fine art lithograph distributor, has removed their Goldman section, and posted this message:
Due to the recent postings regarding Todd Goldman’s artwork,
we are not showing his art until we have resolution from the distributor.
If you have any concerns, please do not email us. Instead, contact S2 directly.
by
Eliza Gauger on April 24th, 2007 ~ 04:17:15 PM
Slotted into Artwork, Comics, Depressing, Digital, Hate, Paintings, Table of Malcontents, The Internet, Wired |
4 Comments »
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Log # 113
Cat Macros
The greatest site on the entire internet. Ever.
http://community.livejournal.com/cat_macros/
AND MANY, MANY MORE.
