Gibberings
Dad told me never to use XTREE when he wasn’t in the room.
August 19, 2008 ~ 11:06:48 PM * -07:00ST
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Log # 415
2008-07-14: Coagulated Twittering
- Finally launching for LA. At the general store buying supplies and extra oxen. Can I eat an entire watermelon, by myself, on the interstate? #
- @jhnenvee But what if I have to trade it to the indians for help fording a parking lot? #
- Had to bribe my way across the San Joaquin county line with two wagon axles and our only washtub of corn liquor. #
- Stanislaus County checkpoint asked me if I’m Sunni or Shiite. Told em I worship Yog the Animal God, and would they care for a votive kibble? #
- Think I lost them at Crow’s Landing. Three oxen down to gunfire, a fourth to trailside IED, but I could only carry 100lbs back to the Jetta. #
- Horrible news. Had to trade my last unlistened-to episode of This American Life to the Merced County militia for safe passage. #
- Replenishing grease vats from Santa Nella area Popeye’s. Due to rewards programs interchange fees, cajun breading is cheaper with cash pay. #
- Back on the road. Can just about manage my “meal” by twofisting the chicken chunks, and wearing the potato cup as a hat. Biscuit issues. #
- Whole body now has dewy, Maxim-style sheen due to Popeye’s replenishing lipids. Having trouble maintaining deathgrip on just about anything. #
- Cowschwitz. If you’re the serial killer in my backseat that’s been clamping farts since Alameda, now’s the chance for relief on the DL. #
by
Eliza Gauger on July 14th, 2008 ~ 11:59:59 PM
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Comment by Rick Gauger on
July 17, 2008 at 3:51 pm
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This is the funniest thing you’ve ever written.
